The Quest for Orgasm
For women to achieve orgasm during vaginal intercourse there are a number of factors that contribute and add to stimulation.
Stimulation of the clitoris is one of those factors.
Clitoral stimulation during intercourse can be performed either by the woman or by her partner. For stimulation by the partner to be a success it's best if the couple has previously engaged in mutual masturbation, or watched each other masturbate to orgasm.
Most of the times though, it's easier for the woman to stimulate the clitoris, since she knows how to do it better than her partner does and because in some positions her partner might find it difficult to reach and stimulate the clitoris.
Leaving clitoral stimulation to chance is a big mistake if the woman is in the pursuit of an orgasm. Thinking all the stimulation her clitoris needs is provided by the rubbing of your body is usually wrong. The stimulation obtained in that manner is not, most of the times, sufficient neither as intensity or as duration.
The best positions for clitoral stimulation are those that allow the partner as well as the woman to directly stimulate the clitoris.
So the best way to achieve orgasm is in woman on top positions. Also, you can try positions with your partner behind you or beside you.
Every sexual position has its advantages and disadvantages. The positions mentioned before have the advantage of direct contact with the clitoris, the downside is that many women prefer to be closer to their partner during vaginal intercourse or they like their partner's weight on them.
If that is the case, they can make love in the missionary position, but then direct clitoral stimulation is quite hard to achieve.
Women who choose the “on top“ position have easy access to their clitoris. In that position they can slowly rock their hips or contract and relax their pelvic muscles to give their partner pleasure.
Some women though, don't find clitoral stimulation pleasant, they may even find it painful.
If this happens it's probably because the woman is not aroused. That being the case, she's most likely not enough lubricated, so the friction is painful, nor are the sexual hormones that facilitate orgasm released.
Another cases for the sensitive clitoris can be a poor local hygiene, some sexually transmitted diseases or clitoral adhesion.
But there can be women who have a sensitive clitoris all the time and it can't be directly stimulated.
In that case the woman or her partner can, instead of massaging the glans of the clitoris, massage the hood, the labia or lower mound. Sometimes, women with a sensible clitoris only tolerate their ouch on it.
The sensitivity issue must be addressed with care and understanding by the partner. Maybe all she needs is more lubrication, then you can use water based lubricants.
The woman's responsibility is to tell her partner if she wants her clitoris to be stimulated, and how she wants it. Most of the times it's best to look for a solution to clitoral sensibility and not to dismiss clitoral stimulation.
Another orgasm aid can be the position you are using during vaginal intercourse. Changing positions can make both partners experience more sensations.
You must remember that the vagina is not sensitive in the same way on all it's depth so touching the spots that are sensible to tough and rubbing greatly depend on the angle of penetration and depth of penetration.
Choosing the position of the bodies during vaginal intercourse can be chose based on whether the woman wants to have access to her clitoris or not.
Everything you choose in bed should be based on your and your partner's pleasure and needs.
The “natural” way we should make love is “doggy style” with the woman on her hands and knees and the man penetrating her from behind.
Stimulation of the G-spot is best achieved when the woman is penetrated from behind and when she is on top and has control on the angle of entry. These are not rules. Some women can find that their G – spot is stimulated during anal sex.
You must find out what your partner likes, and what best works for her at one given time.
Just like men do, women like different thrusting rhythms while making love.
The pace of thrusting is mainly decided by how aroused the woman is and how close to orgasm she is.
The best thing couples can do is to experiment with different rhythms. The key however is that, when you found a rhythm she likes is to go on searching... but not in the same sexual experience.
You can't just find a pace she liked once then stick with it until the day you die. Just listen to her and pay attention to her gestures and movements.
Also, as an orgasm aid I advise you not to give up on sex just because you had a bad experience once. Sex is not so easy to do. It's a physical activity, you'll get sweaty, the muscles in your arms and legs might ache and tire. But what can I say? Practice makes perfect.
As I said, don't be embarrassed is something goes wrong. It's most likely you're not the first person it happened to.
Sex is not as easy, clean and always perfect as movies show.
As your goal should be your pleasure and the pleasure of your partner, if you're a man you must not feel bad if your partner wants something else than your penis stimulating her vagina.
This is perfectly normal, and if something, you should focus on giving her pleasure the way she wants it.
After all, what do you think lesbian women do? Don't you think they have the need to be filled? But, unlike heterosexual couples, they don't have a flesh and blood penis. For that part their sex life is probably spicier sine they most likely use the toys more “light hearted”. Since they don't have a penis attached to them it's less likely they'll be “jealous” about the silicone penis inserted in their partner. Another up – side is that both members of a lesbian couple can use the vibrator.
The most certain way you can bring your partner to orgasm is to stimulate her clitoris with your fingers. But that can be taken to a different level when you also stimulate her vagina with your fingers. You must make sure our hands are clean and you use a lot of lubrication, and that you cut and filed your nails. Don't get overenthusiastic without asking first, she might only need one finger to give her pleasure, so either ask or stick to what you know works.
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